nic

How am I to live with myself

- if what I am is "ugly".
Not on the surface, but in the soul, deep within.
Would I be like Dorian Gray?
Ever so beautiful on the outside,
yet my ugly and dark,
soot covered self portrait lays hidden in that room,
deep down that murky isle,
which only I can enter?
Yes I am ugly.

My phoenix...
Please set that room ablaze!
Set the potrait on fire!
Then no longer it would haunt me!
Piercing my heart with a spoke each time I did right.
I'm like its' vodoo doll, it being my master.
Save me. It's at it again.
Locks me up in that room
while it walks out of it's frame.
Doing all the wrongs in my name
- applauds then jeers me.
Eating the very conscience i have kept precious - excruciating.

Burn it when it's kept in, dormant.
Burn Burn Burn!
Free me of it's leash!

Only then, I would be perfect in your eyes.
Spotless and clean.
But yet my wings would still be charred from the battles i fought.

I'm still ugly.